The Perfect Mother

Last night as I was just about to fall asleep, I suddenly had this overwhelming sense of Jeanie coming to me and pulling the sheets gently up to my neck and tucking me in for the night.  I couldn’t see her face, but I felt her tall elegant young presence with me, smiling, and sending out pure love.  I felt deeply comforted and then I heard her voice whisper in my head, “You’re doing great.  Next week will be fine. Can’t wait to see everyone together next week.”

Below is the most beautiful ode to mother I have ever read.  Jeanie’s son Vince wrote this.

Jeanie with Joe, Mike, Vince (Jeanie has her arm around him), Chuck, and Angie

Her beautiful soul touched us all in one way, shape, or form.  My Mom was the perfect person all around.  When I was just a little boy my Mom was taken from me.  I never understood why she couldn’t get up anymore and take us to the park.  She did everything for us and it was all gone just like that.  I often struggled daily and fell into rut after rut, depressed most of the time, not understanding what was going on here.  Year after year, day after day, we watched our Mom suffer, battle, fight her way through this horrific disease.  She would push so hard to be the best mom she could possibly be every chance she had.  Mom was a very religious Catholic woman.  Her faith was so strong in the lord.  We went to church every chance we could.

Growing up I always felt there was more that I needed to do for her (this is my mom).   When I finally got into the position in my life to step it up, that’s exactly what was done.  With the support of my family, I moved my Mom back to our home town (Rensselaer) to make sure she had good fresh food on the table and a fresh cold drink in her hand. I was popping in there every chance I could,  just to feel her smile when I walked through the door, and to manage all the details to keep her going.  It was like Mom had this switch she flipped on when you walked into the room.  She would never show any weakness to anyone.  I always found myself running to her after those long stressful work days to erase my mind.  First thing she would usually say to me is, “HI HONEY!”, and it was like magic! Everything felt better.    She just lived for her Granddaughter Ava.  We went almost daily when Mom was feeling okay.  Ava was always so excited to go see her grandma Jeanie and tell her about her day at school.  Mom would always say “Oh my baby’s here!”  She would focus on Ava and have these wonderful grandma-granddaughter conversations with her.  Ava always wanted to get up in the bed with her so Grandma could read her a story or sing songs with her.  Mom just lit up like a candle having that little girl she always dreamed of.  You would have never even known she was sick in those moments.  These last few months were very challenging for me. I knew deep down I was losing my mom.  This made me sick inside all the time.  I tried everything, and everyone out there.  I racked my brain day in and day out to figure out what was next just to get some more quality time with her.  Overwhelmed with exhaustion, I found “mom’s switch” everyday and flipped it on before I walked into her room.  Instantly I was singing dancing laughing and doing whatever it took to get those smiles to shine. Then I would leave just completely sick knowing I was running out of time.

She just had the special personality about her that  filled the room with Joy.  She use to introduce her family members like we where some kind of celebrities or something.  I used to get embarrassed sometimes and tell her I was only there to see her, and she would say, “Vince, shut up!  I’ll introduce you a hundred more times, too!  You’re my son and I’m proud of you.”  She would ask complete strangers their whole life story, because she cared so much for everyone. You don’t meet many people who care about strangers like this.  Once you gave in and told her your story, she asked about your family every time she would see you. Family was number one!!

When mom left us on July 5, 2011 at 12:20 in the morning, it was the most comforting feeling we have ever experienced.  John and I were having an in-depth conversation roughly ten minutes prior when this huge surge of energy filled the room.  We were instantly quiet with every hair standing up on every square inch of our bodies.   It naturally brought us out of our chairs right to her side.  “They’re here to get her!”,  John said,  as I grabbed her hand telling her everything was going to be alright.  John was explaining everything he was feeling out loud, I didn’t say a word because I felt exactly what he was saying.  It was so incredible! The lord knew we had all these questions watching are mother suffer like this all this time. He showed his presence to us, as he gently picked her up out of that bed, carrying her right through me.  She paused for a second as I felt that gentle smile, and the peace that filled that room.  It almost felt like a rocket taking off; it was gone just like that.   We held each other knowing everything was going to be okay now.  No more suffering, no more pain. FREE AT LAST. MOM WAS FREE AT LAST!!!!!

I feel her walking, running, laughing, dancing, singing, playing with the angels, not understanding why we’re so upset down here.  It’s really simple:  she was my MOM. That’s a void you can never replace, just something you’re going to have to live with. With that signature hug-lock she would always catch us in before we were leaving, she would always say, “I’m never going to let you go.”  Then she would always say, “I love you more, you’re my son”.  I will never let go of my PERFECT MOTHER.  She will shine through me until my days here on earth are over.  I will be stronger than I’ve ever been when I get back on my feet, carrying her with me every step of the way.

Everyone keeps asking me,  “Is there anything I can do to help?”  Yes, there is one thing you can do for me, hug your mom and dad every chance you can.  Cherish every second you have with them.  One more thing, take a deep breath every once in a while, slow down, step back, and help someone.  Make a positive difference in someone else’s life.  That’s the way Jeanie Urbano would have wanted it.  THE PERFECT MOM…

Thank You for All of your Support!

Love Everyone,

Vince Urbano & Family

Jeanie's sweethearts: John and Vince (Johnny and Vinny)


One Response to “The Perfect Mother”

  1. Lindsey Says:

    Thank you for sharing, this is such a beautiful post. My thoughts have been with you Fran, and my deepest sympathies for your loss. Love and Namaste.


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